The odds are high because women know they will be awarded the children and half your income. Compared to sharing responsibility and making the effort to please her husband divorce can appear to be a good choice.Besides, when good looking and what she sees as more desirable men compliment her (that is what men do) she takes is as serious and thinks they will marry her.
She still sees herself as that pretty 20 year old that all the guys were chasing. However, that is not the way it is.Men will be nice and tell her they like older women and some do. However, having a preference for older women is not the norm.
Men are attracted to younger women because, in evolutionary terms, that is the winning strategy.Our ancestors are the men that produced the most descendants. That was accomplished by mating with women that were the best baby makers and had the youth and strength to care for them until they were old enough to care for themselves. Even a one percent advantage per generation for 1,000 generations, about 20,000 years gives a 21,000 [1.01^1000] to 1 advantage.Men that chose to mate with women even 5 to 10 years older lost out in the evolutionary race and the winners left descendants with the genes to make the same choices.
I say the above to point out that women are not making good choices by choosing to divorce their husbands thinking they can find somebody better.However, most women are ruled by their emotions; not their logic.Even most men are ruled more by their emotions than their logic and women far more so.
That said, in most cases, mothers are nurturing but most make very poor single parents. Women are overcautious and the children of single mothers fail to develop self esteem and confidence.Daughters of single mothers tend to be very sluttish and boys tend to be mommy’s boys. Compared to other children, children raised by single mothers do poorly in school, are prone to drug use, and juvenile delinquency.Granted there are many exceptions, but that is what the evidence shows.It is fathers that give children self esteem and confidence.Girls receiving compliments from their father study more and perform better in school and make better choices in life.
Therefore, should you determine that is the situation and if you love and want what is best for your children, you should take them and disappear. However, don’t be upset at your ex-wife.She is just following her nature.Regardless, of how good a provider and husband you are or were, many and perhaps most wives will want someone different.If they married a handsome construction worker they are going to want someone with a much higher income. If they married a doctor, they may fall in love with cowboy or truck driver.
Certainly that is not always the case. However, it is true as often as not.A few women can be logical; just as a small percentage of ex-wives make excellent single moms.Women are wonderful creatures and we would not want to live world without them.They are so much fun and they very good at certain things they do. However, if you expect them to think like a man you have unrealistic expectations.Take advantage of what they offer, when they want you and let them go when they don’t.There are plenty of others to take their place.Just don’t expect them to always be true and faithful and you will not be disappointed.
When out of the blue, you get served with divorce papers, you wife has been planning it for a year and the outcome is predetermined.You can hire expensive lawyers and all that, but you are better off to conserve you money because you are going to need it to take your children and disappear.If your children are teenagers or older, just go with whatever the court rules because, by that age, it is not as important and you can’t do much about it anyway.However, if they are young and in grade school and younger, you need to start making plans. First, you need to be very logical. If you are going to be angry at your ex-wife and need to teach her a lesson then this is not for you. You don’t have what it takes and YOU WILL FAIL.
Second, you don’t tell anyone your plans.Don’t tell your lawyer because privileged communication does not apply to unlawful activities.Your plans may be the right thing to do and best for your children, but they are not lawful. Except for laws against murder, stealing, etc., lawful has little to do with what is right and just.Don’t tell your parents, your brother, or even your best and most trusted friend because what they don’t know will not harm you and what they do know they will be tricked into revealing without their awareness.
Steps to take:
Obtain a mail drop that cannot be identified to you using the methods described elsewhere.
As early as possible, even before the divorce has been granted, take a week to two week trip to Namibia. To leave less of a trail, you might fly round trip to South Africa and from their go to Namibia. Air fair will be about $1,500. By the way, there are no VISA requirement between Canada and Namibia. Namibia is a new country having broken off from South Africa, sparkly populated and English speaking. Many people are British decedents.
Officially it is very difficult and time consuming to obtain Namibia documents.One lady needed birth certificates for her two children.The clerk handed her two forms to fill out and stamped them.It may not be that easy. A little money may speed things up. I suggest that you tell someone a little higher up than a clerk that you understand that people must wait their turn. However, you would be pleased to pay them $100 to work during their lunch to get your documents in a hurry and that way you are not really going to the front of the line because they are working for you on their lunch period.It may be a bribe, but doesn’t sound like it. Also, they are not well paid so money helps.
Namibia is not so advanced and will not have the cross checking that is in the USA.You might hire an attorney that is connected. So what if cost you $1,000.
You will want a birth certificate.You might find someone about your age that died and then use that birth certificate to obtain a Namibia ID
Next obtain birth certificates for your children.They should have different names and slightly different birth dates. It is not that difficult provided you have weeks. However, money will speed the process up. Or you might luck out like the foregoing lady in number 2.
Before returning to the USA, open a Namibia bank account with your new name and ID and obtain a passport. And, hopefully passports for your children. Use an attorney for an address. Also, see about online statements instead of paper statements.Otherwise, mail to an attorney or some bookkeeper. The fee will be nominal. It just takes a folder to hold the mail.
Airmail the Namibia passport, ID, and birth certificates to your mail drop. You can probably obtain and use the bank or hotel envelope. If a customs form is required, label them documents.Customs can inspect the mail but it would be extremely rare and even so, they would see that they are documents and send the envelope on its way.In the extremely unlikely event they are confiscated, they cannot be identified to you and later you can order replacements after returning to the USA using a different mail drop.
If you get joint custody with a favorable outcome from the court and/or your ex-wife turns out to be an excellent single mother giving you reasonable time with your children, then numbers 1 through 8 was insurance you didn’t need and you can go about your life.However, it that is not the case and you need to do what is best for your children then continue making plans to disappear.
Be super nice to your ex-wife letting her know that you accept her decisions but that the children need time with their father doing things your ex-wife approves of.Ask her permission to see the children and her approval for any activities. She will like being in charge.
You can live on very little if you try. Rent a cheap apartment in a low rent neighborhood or move in with your parents. Buy an older but dependable car with nothing down and payments for three or four years. The court will award your ex-wife enough to live very well while you appear to be living in poverty. For certain your ex-wife is mad at you and has a grudge, even if not justified, so seeing you living in poverty will please her.
You plan is to obtain money. You will need $20,000 and more would be better to live a couple of years in a cabin in a remote area of Namibia without needing to get a job.This will give your children plenty of time to use their new names and to learn to tell anyone that asks that their mother is an angle in Heaven.
Until you leave, make your rent and utility payments. You bought the car with nothing down and the payments over three years are small enough that you don’t build up any equity. Use credit cards for most everything else being diligent to make the minimum payments each month. You don’t want any missed payment or late fees. That would harm your credit. That way the credit card companies will increase the limit as you approach it and you can get more credit cards.
Every week or so withdraw from the bank cash.Some of the cash you will spend, sometimes pay rent or car payment in cash, and the rest you send by Western Union to your Namibia bank account.You may withdraw money every week and send money to your Namibia bank account at random times every ten days to four weeks.You don’t want to allow any possibility that an investigator may be able to correlate the withdrawals in either dates or amounts to the Western Union deposits.Most likely Western Union will not ask for any identification. If they do, show your Namibia ID and next time go to a different Western Union.I have sent $1,000 to $2,000 out of the country several times and have never been asked for an ID.Don’t send money online.It is expensive and it is not anonymous.The clerk will give you a receipt with a number. After confirming with Western Union that the money has been delivered, burn the receipt.Again, don’t use your desktop to check. Use your laptop, booting with puppy linux leaving no trace on your laptop, and find a signal you can borrow from some stranger for a few minutes to get on the internet. You don’t want anything that can tie you to the Namibia bank.
Your credit card and car debts are money you didn’t have to spend and therefore it is money that you deposited in the Namibia bank that you otherwise would not have.Years later, if you choose, you can pay the debts. Until then, after you leave, it is money they will not be able to collect.
Realize that when you leave, your ex-wife, the law, and the creditors are going to try and find you.You will leave a several false leads but no good leads.
Don’t check on your Namibia bank account too often and when you do, don’t use any computer with your IP address. Go to a library and show your Namibia ID, or use a wireless laptop and drive around until you find a signal you can borrow.Be brief. I suggest using Puppy Linux and boot up with a CD using the memory that is built into your laptop. That way, nothing is stored on your laptop.
Before you leave, buy tickets to South Africa for a month or two in advance in Canada, Mexico, or Central America. Don’t buy all the tickets at the same time. If you have two children, buy one for yourself and one child, than a week later from a different source, buy a ticket for your other child.
In addition to your laptop, you need an inexpensive desktop computer.It is good for leaving false leads.
A couple of months before you leave, mention to your parents that you may take the children with you and live in commune and that you will not be able to contact them for a few months until you are settled.Not a hippie commune, you don’t want to worry them; perhaps religious and you might mention East Wind in Missouri. That way when you disappear, they will not be so worried. Then call several communes on your phone and email more on your desktop computer.Delete the emails but leave them in your delete folder. In time the investigators will find the phone calls and emails and they will have to check it out.
A month before you leave schedule a week vacation and let your boss and coworkers know that you are taking your children on vacation. You might mention camping at a national park and Disney World.When you don’t return, that will be another lead for the investigators to check out. When you don’t return, they will thing that perhaps you had an accident in a remote national park.Download, and print information on several vacation places such as Disney World and national parks and leave them on your desk by your computer.
A week before you leave buy in another city an inexpensive car ($1,000 to $2,000). Buy from an individual and pay cash. Don’t provide a name. He can sign and the buyer’s name can be filled in later.In the unlikely event he is not agreeable to that, buy from someone else. Keep if parked in the other city and don’t drive it until you leave.Then drive to it and park your car at a big apartment complex or on the street at near several apartments.When they find it, the lien holder will repossess but it will be another lead the investigators will have to check out.He will think that perhaps you and the children are living in one of the apartments.
Don’t make false leads too obvious but just enough that they can be found with some investigation.
When you leave, just take a suitcase or two. Leave your computer, and most everything else. Don’t close your bank account but withdraw most of the money.Leave $100 or so.You want everything to appear like you just went on a vacation and will be coming back.
If you have your ex-wife’s and/or court approval to take the children for a week, all the better.However, either way it will not matter much. When you don’t return, your ex-wife is going to be calling everyone and then the police. The police will check at work. The boss and coworkers will tell them you took the children on a vacation and you will return to work Monday.
The ex-wife will be frantic and say, “He can’t do that” but the police will just tell her to get him for contempt of court.Even when you don’t return to work the following Monday, perhaps you just had car trouble.
You will be gone at least ten days before the police take much an interest. They will check your apartment and find the vacation items you printed and that you still have an account and some money in the bank. They will also, find your clothes, furniture, papers, etc. So it looks like you just went on vacation.You will just forfeit your next paycheck. You don’t want to remove the possibility that you and the children had some accident in some remote national park.The police may check the airlines, but will not find anything so they will just make a report and not do much else.
It might be a good idea to buy two gold one ounce Krugerrands.Wrap them in copper foil, crimp or silver solder around the edges and make medallion molds and melt and pour pewter around it. You can wear a religious one around your neck and maybe another on a key chain.When you empty your pockets at the airport, no one will give them a second look.However, that is about $2,300 in two gold coins that could come in handy.
You need to decide whether to fly from Canada or Mexico or Central America.Canada might be more difficult getting the children across unless you cross at one of the unmanned places that use the honor system where you call. Instead you just drive and don’t call.
With some luck you might find a Mexican couple going to Mexico, you can let them drive you to a hotel 20 or so miles from the Airport and pay him by giving him the car and the title.That way, it never shows up as a possible lead. You can take the hotel limousine to the airport. That way if you need to show identification to enter Mexico and/or Central America, you can use your American ID and children’s birth certificates until you catch the plane.
Fly to South Africa and then have someone drive you to Namibia. There is free travel between the two countries.
Rent a cabin in some remote area with a well but no electricity other than a generator. As long as your children have your love and attention, they will be fine.It will be like camping; they will love it. We evolved for millions of years with nothing modern so modern technology is not what children need.They do need you love and attention.
Once you get settle in which will take a couple of weeks, close your bank account and buy Krugerrands. That way, just in case an investigator discovers your bank account, the bank will not lead to you. With $20,000, you and the children can easily live a couple of years without your needing to work and you can home school the children.
For at least a year, don’t contact your parents, family, or friends.The investigators will be watching them, talking to them, and using every trick in the book to get information.They found one person after the investigator had someone call the parents and inform them their son was in a bad accident.Of course the parents immediately called to verify.
After checking the false leads you left and not getting any information from your parents, family, or friends the case becomes stale and is put on the back burner and forgotten. Certainly the law will not invest more time and money when there are plenty of new and more promising cases to investigate.
You ex-wife is not going to be happy. She will be badmouthing you to everyone she speaks to.However, don’t waste time worrying about her.With the police not showing much interest, she will hire an investigator who will charge her $20,000 and not give her any good information. She will be angry about that and want her money back, but there is nothing she can do.
The above is not the current prevailing wisdom in Western societies. However, that does not mean it is not the right thing to do. The beliefs of most Americans regarding child support are just a flash in the pan in evolutionary terms and would not be considered wisdom in most of the world.
However, these are my view and, except for preventing harm to others, I give little weight to the prevailing beliefs in a society. I don't consider the laws or custom as having validity when they attempt to regulate what should be our personal lives and decisions. In my opinion, children don't belong to the state. The state didn't make the children; the parents did. I believe the courts should honor whatever agreements the parents made before having children regardless of their personal views.
If you have different beliefs, you should reject my suggestions.
